Seafoods for My Valentine on Hearts Day

love is real.
it is all around.
it is in the air,
on the earth,
in the water.
it is what propels life.
it is what ignites
the fire in our hearts
and makes us listen
to the songs of our soul.
to live is love.

Love

On the eve of Valentine’s Day, I came home to a bouquet of flowers from my husband. Like a teenager, I did not know how to react when I saw it, so I just smiled shyly and murmured my thanks to the man who has been by my side for almost twenty years. Continue reading

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regaining life’s clarity…

ignoring you is not doing
anything good to my sanity.
it is worsening
my soul’s ruminations,
rendering me helpless
in the middle of the night.
my heart cries out
your name in a silent wail,
each keening note
slowly shattering the fragile
faith it has held on to
precariously in the past.
so, my days are spent missing
because not having you,
even just to talk to,
is obliterating bit by bit
what i deemed in the past
as my life’s clarity.

 

 

my aching heart…

my heart still aches.
it’s as if something’s lodged in there,
stuck in there – like a flint in the eye.
sometimes, the pain goes eerily numb,
like i could no longer feel myself.
but, other times, it gets so piercingly sharp,
it’s as if a knife’s still in there – plunged
and twisted deeper every day.

i don’t know how long this will last.
i have no idea until when i can handle this.
all i know is my heart is in peril
of becoming more apathetic than it is now.
and, somehow i don’t want that to happen.
not at all.
no, not at all.

my soul cries out…

My soul is crying out in anguish,
its keening wails shattering the silence
of the crowded rooms of my mind.
It is bleeding in its need
to be heard – beseeching, imploring
its want to be touched.

But, my body has its own thoughts.
Its weakness has rendered me helpless.
It is wracked in unimaginable pain.
It is heaving knives straight into my heart.

So, my eyes shed unseen tears.
They know what my soul wants,
but they’re just part of my impervious body.
They can’t do nothing else,
but commiserate with my tortured soul,
as they send silvery trails of
utter emptiness down my cheeks,
into my bosom, bereft of warmth.

 

 

a heart in love…

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again, the heart fell headlong
into a love that didn’t promise
a happy ending.
she chose to throw caution
into the winds and risked getting hurt,
just to feel the thrill
of a hand holding her close,
making her feel cherished and appreciated.

but, as her idyllic moments of bliss
came to an abrupt stop, she careened
into a chasm of loneliness so deep,
she had to pretend to be unfeeling
just to keep her head above waters.
she pasted an incessant smile
upon her face, so she won’t break down
into the torrent of tears she hid
way deep down, where no one undeserving
can ever unearth.

she clutched her sobs
close to her breast, so no one
will know the agony of the love
she harbored deep inside –
because everything came
to a standstill when she learned
how she was just there
to fill a void,
of a love gone cold.
she had to be thrown aside
when that bond was rekindled
and second chances took hold.

 

 

Your Goodbye…

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So, you laid your hand
on top of mine…
And, there was such 
a melancholic sadness to
what you did.
It seemed like you
were bidding me goodbye
with that single touch.
It felt like you were
letting of what we have
with that simple gesture.

You did not say anything.
But, the feel of your cool fingers
seared a fiery imprint
of anguish into my heart.
The poignancy of that moment,
devoid it might have been 
of any words, sent my soul
into tears of loss, beyond saving.