this is me…asking for help…

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i exist every day
to face a world
i no longer want
to be in.
i wake up and put on
a mask that makes me
hide everything
i’m feeling inside.
i walk around
with a smile on my face,
with a ready laugh, and
a seemingly open heart.
but, inside there is
a pain that just
wouldn’t subside.

i come before you today
with my soul laid bare.
i am telling you now
that i’m not okay.
i want to shed my mask
and let you see
the tears brimming
behind my perenially sad eyes.
i want for you to see
the pain so deep, it makes
me just want to die.

i am here now,
letting you know
that i’m done being strong.
i don’t want to
just get along.
i want to matter.
i want to really care
enough to want to live.
but, the darkness inside me
is holding me back.
it is making me want
to hurt myself,
so i can feel something.
i am beginning to feel numb.
i have become apathetic.
but, i want that to stop.
please help me.
i just can’t go on being this way
for much longer.

 

 

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5 thoughts on “this is me…asking for help…

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